Special Request Forms 4
by RA'AY'MOND
Summary: Is Jonas crazy? Does he need his head examined? Or just his teeth. Read on and find out.


**Title: A Generals work is never done 1/? **

_**Special Request Forms, part 4 / 6 Jonas's Special Request.**_

**Fandom: SG1. **

**Author: Ra'Ay'Mond**

**Rating: PG-13: for paper work and implied …..stuff.**

**Category: Humor? Angst? A day at the office.**

**Spoilers: Working at the SGC.**

**Summary: Hammond & Walter, behind the scenes.**

**Authors note: I wanted to write something about Hammond. This is just a start. **

**While working it out in my head I keep coming up with Walter "never" being too far away from the general.**

**Disclaimer: ****The characters mentioned in this story are the property of Showtime and Gekko Film Corp. The Stargate, SG-I, the Goa'uld and all other characters who have appeared in the series STARGATE SG-1 together with the names, titles and backstory are the sole copyright property of MGM-UA Worldwide Television, Gekko Film Corp, Glassner/Wright Double Secret Productions and Stargate SG-I Prod. Ltd. Partnership. This fanfic is not intended as an infringement upon those rights and solely meant for entertainment. All other characters, the story idea and the story itself are the sole property of the author.**

**However, Dr. Lester Payne is my creation and mines alone. He is not to be used in any 'for profit' work with out my permission. I do however give permission for his use in any and all 'not for profit' fan fictions. Just send me a copy of the story. Not to review, I just want to see what you do with him that I could not.**

**Archiving of my story is OK. Just tell me where it's going.**

**I would like to think Fidalgo for volunteering to help me with Beta reading and comparing theories about the Quantum Mirror (One L, or two? That's another story that I've written). I couldn't have done it with out him.**

**General George Hammond looked at his wrist watch thinking that he'd given Mr. Jonas Quinn more than enough time. It should be on Walter's desk by now.**

**Picking up the phone, the general speed dials Sergeant Walter Harriman's direct line. Anticipating what his general is calling about, Walter didn't give General Hammond a chance to talk. He spoke first, "Mr. Quinn just dropped it off and apologized for his Special Request being late sir. He wanted to deliver it personally, but I told him that you knew all about his teams delay in returning home and you don't blame him for it being late. I'll bring it into your office right away sir."**

"**Thank you Walter. And would you mind sitting in on this one? Just in case. You know how confusing these things can be."**

"**Yes sir. No problem sir. I'll be right in." Walter replies.**

**Several seconds later, Sergeant Harriman walks into the general's office and hands General Hammond the Special Request Form for Jonas Quinn. **

**He looks relieved as he takes the form filled folder from Walter and says, "This should be an easy one. I believe that Mr. Quinn is one of the least demanding, easiest going people that I have ever had the pleasure to meet. I doubt if he wants any thing out of the ordinary."**

**The general opens the folder and starts reading Mr. Quinn's request. He opens his mouth slightly and says only one word, "Huh!"**

**As he starts turning pages and reading the rest of the requests, he says the same thing for each page, "Huh!"**

**At this point Walter is dying to find out what is written on the forms. But good soldier that he is he just sits silently, waiting for his general to call upon him.**

**Right on queue the general puts down the folder of forms, looks at Sgt. Harriman and tells him that he has to make a call to the base's dentist and ask him a few questions.**

**The base dentist? Walter was so surprised that he almost falls out of his chair. With his curiosity growing greater by the second he asks, "Is it something that I can help you with sir?" **

"**Not yet son. It looks like I'm going to have to refuse an item on Mr. Quinn's list.**

**I'm going to speak with our resident dentist. I'll need his in put before I decide whether to approve or disapprove the second item in question."**

**Walter, not having looked at the report yet was even more confused than before.**

**General Hammond saw the sergeants 'little lost boy' look and handed him the report as he looked up the base's dentist and dialed his number. While the phone was ringing the general told Walter, "Look over the report son, item number seven in particular. I think you'll see why I'm making this call."**

**Sgt. Harriman began reading the form to himself: Mr. Quinn, First name Jonas.**

**Plain non-flavored baking soda toothpaste (for off world missions.)**

**Several tubes of Mint, Spearmint and Peppermint flavored baking soda toothpaste.**

**90 tooth brushes with gum massager rubber tip. Assorted colors.**

**Several packs of dental floss, waxed and un-waxed. Also in several assorted flavors (mint, spearmint, peppermint, strawberry, cherry, cinnamon and non-flavored.)**

**Several travel sized mouth wash containers, assorted flavors.**

**One dental self examination kit.**

**One tooth whitening treatment (this is not available on base.)**

**A book: 'On cooking'. A classic on the fundamentals of cooking.**

**A book: 'Cooking Steak'. The title says it all.**

**The DVD set of: 'America eats, History on a bun' parts one and two. From the History Channel.**

**The George Foremen Grill.**

**A book: 'How to make friends and influence people'.**

**A book: 'The Wizard of Oz'.**

**Reason: Requests numbered one to seven are for the preservation of good dental health. After all, a smile can go a long way!**

**This non-flavored toothpaste is requested for off world missions. Col. O'Neill told me that in the Vietnam conflict the North Vietnamese and Viet Cong fighters nick named American soldiers 'Elephants'. Because they smelled and heard them coming long before they made contact with US forces. One of the main offenders was sweet smelling toothpaste. This is not a problem with request number one. Of course plain baking soda is odorless. That's why I requested it be a part of the above products. The other products are all dental related of course. These are for when I'm back on Earth. **

**I believe that the other six requests are pretty much self explanatory. Cooking, eating, getting along with others and high entertainment.**

**After reading the Special request for Jonas, Sgt. Harriman had a growing glint of understanding in his eyes. He looks up at his General and he tells him, "I think that I understand now why you're calling the base dentist. You're going to have him talk to Mr. Quinn and see if this obsessive preoccupation with dental care is the start of some sort of mental breakdown. Maybe a result of being ostracized from his nation and home planet."**

**Upon hearing this General George Hammond is so completely and utterly shocked, he abruptly stops dialing and looks back and forth between Sergeant Walter Harriman and the phone receiver in his hand. **

**The only thing that he manages to say in response to what Walter just said is, "What? No... NO! Of course not Walter! What ever in the world gave you the idea that Mr. Quinn needed a psychological evaluation?"**

**Walter now seeing how wrong he was about all of this thinks to himself, I may as well say what's on my mind, I can't sink much deeper than I already am. "Sir it's just that Mr. Quinn not only has the best and healthiest looking teeth on this planet. He can probably claim that title on any world in this galaxy. My first thought upon seeing the first half of this list was that he's taking a good habit and going overboard with it. Way overboard!"**

**General Hammond finishes dialing the phone number. As the phone on the other end begins to ring he quickly but politely interrupts Walter by placing his index finger up in the air and silently mouthing the words, 'It's ringing.' **

**The other end of the line was picked up and answered before it rang a second time. The voice on the other end answered in a pleasant yet authoritative voice, "Hello Captain. Payne's office, Captain Payne speaking."**

**The general identifies himself and tells Capt. Payne that he would like to talk to him about providing Mr. Jonas Quinn with some dental treatment that does not seem to be available on base. The Captain tells General Hammond that he has several hours of free time before his next appointment and he can talk to him in person if he would like. He also tells the general that he could be in his office in a few minutes.**

**General Hammond tells Captain Payne that would be fine. The meeting should take about fifteen minutes and he will be waiting in his office for him.**

**The general thanks him and hangs up. He then tells Walter, "OK son, please continue."**

**Walter takes a deep breath and continues, "Sir, I meant no disrespect to Jonas. It's just that... Well, he does seem **_**way**_** too preoccupied with his teeth. I just thought that you were a little…concerned about it."**

**General Hammond presses his lips to one side, looks past Walter. And thinks over what his Sergeant has just told. After all, Walter does seem to have certain **_**flashes of insight**_** into people and events. He's often right more times than he's wrong. Perhaps this is one of those …**_**feeling**_** that he gets from time to time.**

**Maybe this is some sort of **_**distraction**_** for Jonas to take his mind off of never being able to go home again. **

**In less than three seconds he says out loud, "**_**No**_**! I don't see this as some sort of 'cry for help'. Jonas had white teeth, a bright smile and border line obsessive dental habits when SG-1 first came in contact with him on his home world." **

"**If this preoccupation with his teeth, or anything else for that mater 'just' started, out of the blue I would be a bit more concerned." **

"**As far as I'm concerned if there is some way to get him the requested treatment and make his stay with us a more pleasant one. And try to repay him for all of the help that he's given us by taking his nations supply of ****naquadria****, then that just what I'm going to do!"**

**Sergeant Harriman tells General Hammond, "If I over reacted sir, it was only out of concern." General Hammond nods his head and says, "I understand Sergeant."**

**Walter then asks his general, "Sir, what about the happy faces?"**

"**What happy faces sergeant?"**

"**The small ones that are drawn in to dot every 'I' on the Special Request Form sir."**

**He hands the General back the forms and points out the 'happy faces' in question.**

**General Hammond picks up the forms and looks them over from top to bottom. He flips through the entire report. He is so shocked when he sees all the little tiny happy faces that he jerks his upper body back slightly in his chair and drops his jaw wide open. **

**Sure enough, every single letter 'I' was dotted with a little happy face.**

"**He did this on every page."**

"**Yes sir. Every page." Walter replies.**

**General Hammond thinks to himself, maybe Walter was **_**right**_** about Jonas. **

**Nope, Just another example of Mr. Quinn being the **_**happiest man on Earth**_**, or **_**any planet**_

"**If I send this off to the Pentagon, they'll have **_**me**_** go through a psychological evaluation. Have him redo this before we send it off to Washington. Also, please tell Mr. Quinn I never again want to see **_**little happy faces**_** on any piece of paper that touches my desk."**

**General Hammond with out thinking turns his head toward his phone. He was half expecting Sen. Kinsey to make one of his **_**several**_** Dailey calls to him. **

**Nope. Maybe later.**

**General Hammond turns back to Sergeant Harriman and says, "Also please inform Mr. Quinn that I have to regretfully deny his request for a 'George Foremen Grill'. Tell him that hot plates are not in allowed in personal quarters because of potential fire hazard. **

**We make an exception to the fire hazard rule for Teal'c's Candles. Because extra fire fighting equipment is stored on his floor. And he needs them to use in his meditation. And he needs to do his meditation to survive."**

"**I however will allow him a chance to request a small personal refrigerator to go in his quarters, if he would like."**

"**As for the tooth whiting treatment, we have to wait for Capt. Payne to show up before we can decide on that."**

**As if on queue, Captain Lester Payne walks up to the door of General Hammond's office. Stopping at the threshold to the room he asks, "Permission to enter sir?"**

"**Permission granted. Please enter captain. Capt.Lester Payne this is **

**Sgt. Walter Harriman. He'll be sitting in with us today. Please sit down gentlemen. **

"**As we talked about on phone Captain, Mr. Quinn Has requested some sort of tooth whitening treatment that does not seem to be available on base. Are there any other options for him?"**

**Captain Payne tells the general that when he and Jonas Quinn last spoke about the treatment not being available 'on base', He offered to talk to you about receiving treatment elsewhere. Jonas declined. He said that he did not want to bother you with something so trivial. And if he could not get it here, he would just do with out.**

**General Hammond nods his head and says, "That's what I wanted to ask you. Is there another base, Air Force or otherwise that can fulfill his needs?" **

**Captain Lester Payne pushes his glasses up until they are stopped by his fore head as he thinks of a possible solution to this problem. After only several seconds of thought he tells General Hammond that his first dental instructor in the Air Force is now currently in charge of all dental instruction at the Air Force Academy in Colorado Springs. He would know of an Air Force facility that could help. Perhaps they have the necessary equipment on site to do the job. **

**While all of this is transpiring, Sgt. Walter Harriman's only thought at the moment is, **_**our base's dentist is named Dr. Payne? **_

**Captain Payne lowers his voice slightly and tells both the general and the sergeant that perhaps it would be best if he and his dental technician were the ones that work on Jonas at the other facility. Although this procedure is done without the patient being 'put under', there is always a small chance that an 'off base' dentist would find something that was not there during the patents last check-up, and decides to work on it right away.**

_**Dr**__**Lester Payne**_**? Walter thinks to himself.**

**The captain tells both men that because of the sensitive nature of the **_**deep space radar telemetry**_** research going on at this facility, he and his dental technician have one of the highest security clearances on base. This is in case anyone that is 'put under' starts talking in their sleep. It is also the reason an MP sits in on any procedure that requires a patient being given sleeping gas before treatment. To record anything that may be said while under the effects of sleeping gas.**

_**Dr. Les Payne. It's better than Dr. More Payne. But still, it's a bit much. **_

**Walter then wonders if Capt. Payne's parents had any idea how grade school bullies think. They hear that the 'new kids' name is **_**Les Payne**_**, and they start punching him to see if he can feel the hits. **

**Captain Lester Payne also tells both men he can contact his former instructor at the Air Force Academy for the locations for this elective procedure. He can do this with out going into 'specifics' about Mr. Quinn. Only that he is a **_**high level civilian contractor**_

**Walter, still drifting off in his own little world thinks to himself that **_**I guess a name like that can be good for business, once he goes into private practice.**_

**Capt. Payne tells General Hammond that once he receives the addresses of the bases in questions, the general can make arrangements for Mr. Quinn, himself, his technician and an MP to travel to the other facility.**

"**It sounds like a plan. But Captain Payne, I don't want to throw off your schedule on **_**this**_** base. Will you be able to do this and still treat your other patients?" **

**Captain. Payne tells General Hammond that it should not be a problem. He currently does not have any members of an SG team that are currently **_**traveling**_**, waiting for treatment. And the patients that **_**were**_** waiting to see him can either be treated before he goes, or after he returns.**

**General Hammond tells him, "OK. Let me know once you receive the contact information for those other bases and I'll make arrangements for you, your team and Jonas to travel there for this treatment. Any questions?"**

**The two other men in the room shook their heads no.**

"**Then Captain. Payne I believe that you have a phone call to make." **

**The captain says yes sir. He stands up and salutes the general. The general returns his salute. Walter salutes the Captain and Captain returns his salute. Once all the saluting is done, he leaves the room to go about his tasks.**

"**Walter also inform Mr. Quinn that we are looking into getting him the tooth treatment that he requested and will let him know when we locate another facility that can help us. So unless you have anything to add, I think we're done for the moment."**

"**I do have one question sir. It's about the last request on his list, 'The Wizard of Oz'?"**

"**That's funny son. I was going to ask you the same question. I guess that comes under the definition of **_**high entertainment**_**."**

**Both men just shrugged and Sgt. Harriman tells his general, "Unless there's some thing else I can help you with sir, I'd like to start typing up a new form to replace this one."**

**OK Walter. And Walter, thanks again for your help.**

"**Yes Sir." was Sgt. Harriman's reply as he left the generals office.**

**TO BE CONTINUED…**

**Cam will be next.**

_**Love it? Hated it? Please let me know…**_

11


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